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Austria: Removes 1 unit
France: Builds 1 unit
Italy: Builds 1 unit
Turkey: Builds 1 unit
Message from Master to all
Okay -- our absent player has a winter adjustment, so I'm extending
the deadline until Monday.
Doug
Message from France to all
PRESS RELEASE,
Paris, France
-- Prince Xavier Boar
As you recall, Ivy Wingo won our Tour De France Contest
when the United States Postal Team (i.e. Lance Armstrong)
won several stages as well as the overall race. The
grand prize was a date for his sister with the Dauphin.
I wanted to take the time to report to you on that
fantasy evening.
Ivy's sister arrived across the Channel accompanied by
her guardian. He was introduced as Ivy, and he thanked
France for allowing him to chaperon his sister. It was
obvious that he was an impostor, but we did not wish to
embarrass the dear lady by revealing that we knew it.
Obviously Ivy was concern that his person would not be
safe in France. We were insulted by his distrust for our
word of honor, but choose not to let that spoil the
enchantment of the day.
After touring the many sights in Paris, the Dauphin took
the young lady to a dinner of our best French food and
wine. The Ivy impostor sat across the room with me and
we pretended that we were great friends. After a
delightful boat ride on the Seine, the lady was sent back
across the Channel armed with a French Cookbook, some
decent food supplies and several cases of wine. May she
eat well for months to come.
Unfortunately there was a mix up at the Port and the Ivy
impostor got on a boat destined for Syria. He seemed to
really like his new T-shirt that said "Down with Arabs,
Go ahead, make my day" in Arabic. We hear that he is
having a nice time. Perhaps Ali can go rescue, rather,
help him find his way home.
Again, I thank everyone for their participation in my
Tour de France game. We especially thank Ivy for
allowing us to be charmed for the day by his sister.
-- Prince Boar
Message from France to Austria
Ms. Felicia:
It has been so long since I have heard from you. I know
that things are not going well for you, but I would be
interested in knowing where you stand. It looks like
Germany was willing to work with you. Are you
considering working with Russia to keep alive? Tough
decision.
My position steadily degrades. I have not lost any
centers, but I continue to lose position. It is partly
due to my not be conservative. I expect to lose a center
to Germany this year and maybe one to England. But I
will do all that I can to prevent the latter.
-- Prince Boar
Message from France to all
I accidentally deleted my last message from this game
without reading it. I respectfully ask whoever sent one
to me in the last couple of hours (Thursday AM) to resend
it. I apologize for my mistake.
France
Message from England to all
PRESS RELEASE,
London
There appears to be no limit to English duplicity when it comes to dealings
with France.
Recently a report was published concerning a "fantasy evening" between my
sister and the Dauphin. The only correct word in that report was
"fantasy." At the time of the supposed meeting with the Dauphin and Prince
Boar my sister and I were on a sight-seeing excursion in the North Sea in
the company of the Emperor Fredd and his charming niece Princess
Wilhelmina. For you see, Sis was warned aforehand of the practices of
French royalty. Her taste is more towards that of the highly refined Teutons.
What then of this French fantasy? Who travelled from England to charm the
Dauphin? Why it was none other than that imposter, Queen Arabella, the
most delicious transvestite on either side of the Channel. "Bella" reports
that the Dauphin deported himself in the most atrocious manner, much to
his/her delight. She cannot wait for the next Tour de France and hopes
that that hunk Lance will once again bring the prize to Ivy. Perhaps we
will have another go in 2002. Bella can't wait.
Message from Russia to Austria, Italy, and Turkey
Archduke,
>Austria: 3 Supply centers, 4 Units: Removes 1 unit.
>Italy: 6 Supply centers, 5 Units: Builds 1 unit.
>Russia: 3 Supply centers, 3 Units: Builds 0 units.
>Turkey: 6 Supply centers, 5 Units: Builds 1 unit.
Disband your Army in Sevastopol. If you do not I will
give Sev to Turkey, and we will destroy your Army there
in the Spring. I will then return to Galicia, and do
everything in my power to make sure that you are
eliminated before I am, up to and including supporting
Italian and Turkish attacks on your Home Centers. You
might consider this an idle threat, but remember that
if I promise something to an ally, I keep my word, and
I remain allied with Italy and Turkey.
Czar Nicholas II.
Message from England to all
Apparently my modem troubles are over.
Some of you know that I have not had a reliable modem at home in the
evening. After half a year of trouble I finally discovered that the modem
failed precisely when a halogen lamp in the next room was turned on.
Curiously, the modem is unaffected by an identical lamp two feet from the
computer.
Ivy
Message from France to all
Good Neighbors in Europe:
Le Dauphin here. My brother and I have been debating
whether we simple ignore the most recent atrocity of a
broadcast by the English or whether we need to respond.
On one hand we do not want to justify it with a response,
but on the other, my honor requires that we do respond.
It should be obvious to anyone who knows us that Ivy's
message was a fallacy. I of course treated the woman on
the Tour de France date as a perfect gentleman would. A
simply kiss on the back of the hand in greeting was the
only contact between us.
Prince Boar insists that I handle this one.
Unfortunately I am not as eloquent as he. Therefore I
can only offer this little song or poem.
My baloney has a first name
Its I - I - V - V - Y
My baloney has a second name
Its W - I - N - G - O
Oh I love to read it every day
And if you ask me why I'll say
Because Ivy Wingo has a way with
B - O - L - O - N - G - A
Le DAUPHIN
Message from England to all
>My baloney has a first name
>Its I - I - V - V - Y
What a hoot!! My wife's maiden name is M - A - Y - E - R, and this ditty
is much too well known in our household. [I don't think you can get my
I.D. from my wife's maiden name.]
Ivy
Message [from Russia] to all
Just a reminder, this period of silence is brought
to you to allow you to submit your 1903 EoY to the
Master.
Message [from Turkey] to all
> Just a reminder, this period of silence is brought
> to you to allow you to submit your 1903 EoY to the
> Master.
Since this doesn't seem to have been sent by Doug,
the literal translation seems to be "I can't WAIT
to find out what you were really thinking, you
bloody idiot!"
Austria: REMOVE Army Vienna
France: BUILD Fleet Marseilles
Italy: BUILD Army Venice
Turkey: BUILD Army Ankara
Centers
Austria: 3
England: 5
France: 5
Germany: 6
Italy: 6
Russia: 3
Turkey: 6
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